Today was both good and bad. It started ok, but then I used my lifting muscles without realizing it. I'm not supposed to lift much- and I didn't! I did, however, let the baby hold my fingers as she walked up the stairs. I was in a LOT of pain because of it. Most days I would have just gone to bed, but today was Christmas Sunday! The day that the kids were going to sing! Was I going to miss church? No way.
Being Christmas Sunday, many carols were sung- but not by me. I have a range of about 12 notes right now and it takes a lot of energy to sing. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but singing is a huge part of my worship and something I just love to do. I admit, I was holding back tears. Tomorrow I get to do it all again at our Christmas Eve service.
One person who DID sing, however, was my boy. He insisted he wasn't going to participate, but the children's director and I slowly cajoled him into "just hanging out" with the kids until they sang. He he he.
It's less than 2 days till Christmas. I may not be able to sing carols, but I have a wonderful family to share the day with. And someday, I'll be singing with the angels, as if every day were Christmas.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
4 days from surgery
I am happy to report that things are going quite well! The surgeon spent only four hours operating, compared to an expected five to six. She didn't find anything unexpected - no new cancer growths, and was able to use the natural fold on my neck so that the scar will blend in well. She didn't have to make any extra incisions to reach the lymph nodes either. Yay!
She said they "peeled cancer" off of my nerves and were a bit concerned about them, but that they responded to stimuli and that I sounded good. My voice just after surgery sounded a lot like a little kid on helium! It is still a bit raspy and kid like at times. Hopefully it will eventually go back to normal.
Yesterday my sister said that I had twice the energy as the day before. Woo hoo! It's been so nice to have someone to do the little things for me so I don't have to push myself at all. The thing I needed the most help with was lying down in bed! Do u know how many muscles you use to lay your head down? I don't either, but I felt every one of them! The best news is that as of last night, I can do it myself! Yay!!
My neck still has some bruising but everyone says that it looks better than they expected. It feels pretty funny having been glued shut.
A big thanks to my sister, Barb, and everyone who has or will be helping us out! It is a huge relief to not have to worry about the little stuff!
She said they "peeled cancer" off of my nerves and were a bit concerned about them, but that they responded to stimuli and that I sounded good. My voice just after surgery sounded a lot like a little kid on helium! It is still a bit raspy and kid like at times. Hopefully it will eventually go back to normal.
Yesterday my sister said that I had twice the energy as the day before. Woo hoo! It's been so nice to have someone to do the little things for me so I don't have to push myself at all. The thing I needed the most help with was lying down in bed! Do u know how many muscles you use to lay your head down? I don't either, but I felt every one of them! The best news is that as of last night, I can do it myself! Yay!!
My neck still has some bruising but everyone says that it looks better than they expected. It feels pretty funny having been glued shut.
A big thanks to my sister, Barb, and everyone who has or will be helping us out! It is a huge relief to not have to worry about the little stuff!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
'twas the night before surgery
It's really weird knowing that people read my blog... REALLY weird.
It's been a long week. I've had my ups and downs emotionally. I got a good amount checked off my to do list, but not everything I had hoped to accomplish. Sometimes I'm scared. Sometimes I'm able to forget what lies ahead. Most of the time I try to focus on the next task, and that alone.
But now, the next task is surgery. I'm doing my best to think positive and pre-visualize a good outcome. I've always been a pessimist, though, so if the worst should happen (and it won't) I want you all to know that I love Jesus and gratefully accept His grace. I want you all to know that I love you. I may not have shown it well, but each of you has a special place in my heart. It has been a blessing to be part of your life.
Please be praying for my family tomorrow. I'll be fine. I'll be asleep through the whole thing! They will be worried and waiting for news.
Thank you for all of the encouraging words, phone calls, cards, and gifts. They truly do help!
God bless,
Kelly
It's been a long week. I've had my ups and downs emotionally. I got a good amount checked off my to do list, but not everything I had hoped to accomplish. Sometimes I'm scared. Sometimes I'm able to forget what lies ahead. Most of the time I try to focus on the next task, and that alone.
But now, the next task is surgery. I'm doing my best to think positive and pre-visualize a good outcome. I've always been a pessimist, though, so if the worst should happen (and it won't) I want you all to know that I love Jesus and gratefully accept His grace. I want you all to know that I love you. I may not have shown it well, but each of you has a special place in my heart. It has been a blessing to be part of your life.
Please be praying for my family tomorrow. I'll be fine. I'll be asleep through the whole thing! They will be worried and waiting for news.
Thank you for all of the encouraging words, phone calls, cards, and gifts. They truly do help!
God bless,
Kelly
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Prayer
On my bad days, I'm tired of being someone's prayer request. I'd like to just be healthy and let them pray for someone else for a change!
On my good days, I appreciate the prayer. I remember how it was the prayer of God's people that brought me through breast cancer treatments.
On days like today, I'm simply brought to tears. News is spreading of my second bout with cancer. People are reaching out to me, and their compassion brings me to tears.
Thank you for praying.
On my good days, I appreciate the prayer. I remember how it was the prayer of God's people that brought me through breast cancer treatments.
On days like today, I'm simply brought to tears. News is spreading of my second bout with cancer. People are reaching out to me, and their compassion brings me to tears.
Thank you for praying.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Here we go again
Of all the things I could say about my life, I could never say that it has been boring.
Yesterday I met with a surgeon at UPMC. It was completely overwhelming. I was having flashbacks of visiting the clinic at Beverly Hospital. Everything was just a blur of information. And yet again, the words meant to encourage me, telling me that this is no big deal, were proven wrong. Once again, I'm "interesting."
I have thyroid cancer. I've said this. Everyone told me that it would be a piece of cake compared to breast cancer, and of all the cancers to get that thyroid was the one because it's so easily treated. This is probably all still true... probably.
Standard operating procedure at UPMC is to get an ultrasound done of the thyroid and surrounding lymph nodes before meeting with the surgeon. It seemed redundant to me, as I had already had one, but I usually do what I'm told when it comes to these things. Turns out, it's a good thing I did. The ultrasound showed a LOT of lymph node involvement, (cancer in the lymph nodes,) especially for the size nodule I have. There is cancer in at least 5 of the 11 "compartments" on my neck.
What does this mean?
This means they will have to make a nice long incision across the bottom of my neck, and maybe one or two more up near my jawline in order to get everything.
It also means that the cancer may have spread to other parts of my body. They took a CT scan of my chest to find out if it did. (I should get the results of that on Monday.)
This means that I will be in the hospital at least 2 days, instead of going home the same day of surgery.
This means my recovery time will be significantly longer than a simple thyroidectomy.
This means I'm scared.
The surgeon said that I probably have a rare variant of thyroid cancer. The technical name is diffuse sclerosing papillary thyroid carcinoma. (Say that 10 times fast. I dare ya!) It is a much more aggressive form of disease than most people deal with. It's a bit more resistant to treatment. But, the survival rates are pretty much the same.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday, December 17th. I'm having a hard time staying positive, but I am trying. It has been very encouraging being prayed over and I know everyone will do whatever they can to help. I just wish I didn't have to go through this. I wish that lightning hadn't struck twice. I wish life could just be boring for a while. Oh well. One day at a time I'll press ahead.
Yesterday I met with a surgeon at UPMC. It was completely overwhelming. I was having flashbacks of visiting the clinic at Beverly Hospital. Everything was just a blur of information. And yet again, the words meant to encourage me, telling me that this is no big deal, were proven wrong. Once again, I'm "interesting."
I have thyroid cancer. I've said this. Everyone told me that it would be a piece of cake compared to breast cancer, and of all the cancers to get that thyroid was the one because it's so easily treated. This is probably all still true... probably.
Standard operating procedure at UPMC is to get an ultrasound done of the thyroid and surrounding lymph nodes before meeting with the surgeon. It seemed redundant to me, as I had already had one, but I usually do what I'm told when it comes to these things. Turns out, it's a good thing I did. The ultrasound showed a LOT of lymph node involvement, (cancer in the lymph nodes,) especially for the size nodule I have. There is cancer in at least 5 of the 11 "compartments" on my neck.
What does this mean?
This means they will have to make a nice long incision across the bottom of my neck, and maybe one or two more up near my jawline in order to get everything.
It also means that the cancer may have spread to other parts of my body. They took a CT scan of my chest to find out if it did. (I should get the results of that on Monday.)
This means that I will be in the hospital at least 2 days, instead of going home the same day of surgery.
This means my recovery time will be significantly longer than a simple thyroidectomy.
This means I'm scared.
The surgeon said that I probably have a rare variant of thyroid cancer. The technical name is diffuse sclerosing papillary thyroid carcinoma. (Say that 10 times fast. I dare ya!) It is a much more aggressive form of disease than most people deal with. It's a bit more resistant to treatment. But, the survival rates are pretty much the same.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday, December 17th. I'm having a hard time staying positive, but I am trying. It has been very encouraging being prayed over and I know everyone will do whatever they can to help. I just wish I didn't have to go through this. I wish that lightning hadn't struck twice. I wish life could just be boring for a while. Oh well. One day at a time I'll press ahead.
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